Miss you

There is a variety of things that makes this so difficult. You were my family. I wanted you to be my family. I had finally learned I needed to find someone who would make me a wife who was proud of her husband for being a wonderful man. And you were that to me. It's not easy to try not to miss you because you are a good person. You are genuine, kind, sweet, loving, and you are a man of utmost integrity. And a man that I love dearly.
Sometimes I think Don might come by and say "What are you thinking? That girl has gone above and beyond for you!". I don't know why you don't understand the position you put other people in. I can't even count the # of times I've seen Don at your house, but I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen you at his house. And he only lives a car length away. Don't you ever realize that people want reciprocation in a relationship whether it's merely a friendship or a serious relationship. I wanted you to be with me in some of my life...... I was there for yours. Even though I am mad, it's hard I be mad at you for something you don't understand or comprehend. I think one day you will understand it, but only when "you are in my shoes", and one day you will be.

I would have dropped everything for you. I would have quit my own dreams for you. We should have complimented each other not killed each other. I wanted and still want a family with you. I would love nothing more than to be husband and wife with one already beautiful child and more to come. Your things are more important to you. I always think of you as going to the ends of the earth for me, but you do that for your stuff....the stuff that will never love you back.

I Look for you everyday.... You aren't in here.